The Flame of the Shiva Candle Has Burned Out…Now What?!

Nine days and 12 hours after it was lit, the flame from the Shiva candle for my late husband, the indomitable David Ketroser, M.D., J.D., M.A. in Bioethics, has gone dark. That flame gave me a sense of peace, the feeling that his spirit was there represented by the flame. Now what?!

I will carry his beautiful light in my heart, and over the coming days talk about the amazing person that he was, our incredible love story, and how I am trying to manage the journey ahead without his physical presence. There is so much to know and get done in the days following a loss. It is daunting, especially when one is in their darkest hour and the desire to retreat from the world is great.

We used to love the quote, “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, but rather to learn to dance in the rain.” Now I must learn to dance in the rain without my beloved.

Published by The Philosophical Widow

Only some seven+ years after meeting and marrying my soulmate, I became a reluctant widow. It is a surreal experience, especially because my beloved husband was indomitable. There were so many health scares, times that medically he should not have survived, but beat the odds and went on to do better and better work, not to mention being a loving life partner. I changed dramatically during our time him I found the safety and true love that I had always craved. This sense of safety and unconditional love allowed me to do the deep trauma work necessary to heal and become whole. I came to possess a strength that I never knew I had. I learned what true happiness felt like. I had it all in this amazing man. All except time, that is. “We loved each other enough for a lifetime, but tragically only had a moment.” Yet I am full of gratitude for having had the opportunity to love and be loved by this man. He was my world. Now I must learn who I am without being at his side and without him at mine. My only regret is that we did not have forever...

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