Unable To Write…

Unable to write…

Writing, which has always been my solace, has become a chore, as I am not motivated. As a result I have just not done it. So much for building followers and succeeding at blogging…

I am not understanding this resistance to writing that I am feeling. Part of it might be that I am very sick physically and have been for over two months, and I am an emotional mess as I go through this very difficult, messy grieving process.

I just don’t have anything meaningful, insightful, or interesting to say. I apologize to anyone who may have decided to follow this blog, only to be left wondering WTH?

Feeling empty…

I will try to get back on track, hopefully sooner rather than later. I am still in stunned disbelief that my beloved husband & soulmate really died, and left me alone to navigate life without him. That wasn’t our plan. I’m not even sure who I am without him, as he was my world.

The pain of living without him is excruciating. I miss him so very much. I am trying to preserve his legacy and continue his work. But right now it feels so hard. My life has been turned upside down and is full of uncertainty. However, David would expect me to persevere. He was my superpower, and I need to tap into that now.

Until next time…

Published by The Philosophical Widow

Only some seven+ years after meeting and marrying my soulmate, I became a reluctant widow. It is a surreal experience, especially because my beloved husband was indomitable. There were so many health scares, times that medically he should not have survived, but beat the odds and went on to do better and better work, not to mention being a loving life partner. I changed dramatically during our time together...in him I found the safety and true love that I had always craved. This sense of safety and unconditional love allowed me to do the deep trauma work necessary to heal and become whole. I came to possess a strength that I never knew I had. I learned what true happiness felt like. I had it all in this amazing man. All except time, that is. “We loved each other enough for a lifetime, but tragically only had a moment.” Yet I am full of gratitude for having had the opportunity to love and be loved by this man. He was my world. Now I must learn who I am without being at his side and without him at mine. My only regret is that we did not have forever...

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