Thanks Giving – The Art of Remaining Grateful, Without Guilt

The holidays are difficult. Grieving is difficult. Trying to grieve during the holidays is not only challenging, but nearly unbearable. Those around you expect you to “snap out of it” and feign a jovial mood. Holidays are difficult for many people, and it has always been the case for me. There is the pressure ofContinue reading “Thanks Giving – The Art of Remaining Grateful, Without Guilt”

When Feeling Lost & Profoundly Sad Becomes The Norm

Im not sure why I thought that this would get easier… The truth is that I feel that every day I am losing more of my ability to cope, and my executive functioning is becoming more and more compromised. I vacillate from sheer disbelief that my amazing husband, who was so full of life, isContinue reading “When Feeling Lost & Profoundly Sad Becomes The Norm”

Grief

“Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow in your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.” ~Jamie Anderson Word. 💔 🥀

The Unbearable Lightness of Being…Alone

I miss David so much. I miss his voice, his touch, his being… As I work so hard at wrapping up his practices, day in and day out, every day a new fire breaks out that requires my immediate attention, I just want to ask him to guide me through this: What am I supposedContinue reading “The Unbearable Lightness of Being…Alone”

Being a (Reluctant) Widow is Exhausting

Yesterday’s, or was it the day before’s, (not so) existential dilemma about whether or not to move has been solved. As much as I love the new (potential) apartment, I realize that the timing is just wrong. I am needing to work all day every day, with help, to try to clean up our affairs,Continue reading “Being a (Reluctant) Widow is Exhausting”

My (not so) Existential Dilemma of the Week

I am sitting in a vacant apartment in the same complex that David & I have lived in all of our married life, trying to decide whether or not I should move to this apartment. The apartment we currently live in is beautiful, and the largest in the complex, a corner unit full of windowsContinue reading “My (not so) Existential Dilemma of the Week”

The Flame of the Shiva Candle Has Burned Out…Now What?!

Nine days and 12 hours after it was lit, the flame from the Shiva candle for my late husband, the indomitable David Ketroser, M.D., J.D., M.A. in Bioethics, has gone dark. That flame gave me a sense of peace, the feeling that his spirit was there represented by the flame. Now what?! I will carryContinue reading “The Flame of the Shiva Candle Has Burned Out…Now What?!”